So - ready ? - let's go!
Have you ever heard about Clipperton island?
Watch this short video and answer the questions:
What are some of the facts about the island?
Where is it?
Do any animals live there?
Do you think people could live there?
Here are the opening lines from the novel, "La isla de la pasión", by Laura Restrepo, about the amazing and true story of some 100 Mexican soldiers and their families, who lived on Clipperton island for 9 years during the Mexican Revolution. They were provided for by ships sent from Acapulco.
Suppose you're with someone who speaks no Spanish: how would you translate the paragraph into English?
Una muñeca abandonada entre las rocas desde hace docenas de años. Se le borraron las pestañas y el color de las mejillas y los animales mordisquearon su piel de porcelana. Ella observa, lela, con las cuencas vacías de sus ojos y todo lo registra en su cráneo carcomido por la sal.
Click on Comment to enter your version.
An abandoned doll between the rocks for dozens of years.
ReplyDeleteHer eyelashes and the ´cheeck´s colour were erased and the animals nibbled her porcelain skin.
she observes, speechless, with the eyes´ empty sockets and registers everything in her gnown skull by salt.
In between the rocks, lies a doll abandoned dozens of years ago. Its eye lashes and the red of its cheeks were taken away by the time as its porcelain shows the animals bites. She just stays there awful and eyes-less. Its cranium gnowed by the salt.
ReplyDeleteSteffi Martínez
ReplyDeleteA doll between the rocks lies abandon for dozens years, the time has disappeared her eyes lashes and the red of her cheeks and her porcelain skin had been bitten by the animals. She observes with her empty eyes sockets, speechless, and registers everything in her skull rotten by the salt.
Hello Esther, Guillermo and Steffi, thank you for your versions, very glad to see you around here.
ReplyDeleteSo -
Here some thoughts.
.
1. Translation is challenging! Especially from mother tongue to second language, so - well done.
2. As you can see, translation isn't about transferring words from one language into another, but about transferring ideas from one language into another. The language itself must sound natural, otherwise it isn't easy to understand. Sometimes we'll need to use more words than the original, sometimes less words, we need to adapt, find equivalence, and convey the message contained in the original, in such a way that the reader can understand the message through language that feels relaxed and natural.
3. To gnaw is a regular verb which means to bite with very small bites. To nibble is a synonym, but nibble is a gentle word, and gnaw is more aggressive and corrosive. Things rot of their own accord.
We'll look at these lines again in class today. This is what good writing also involves - reviewing, editing, re-thinking, re-writing, and agreeing on a "best version".
What about the others?
Ricardo Gutiérrez Argüelles
ReplyDeleteHello everybody! =)
An abandoned doll among the rocks for dozens years ago. The eyelashes were erased, and the colour of her cheeks, and the animals bit her porcelain skin. She watches, stupidly, with it empty eye sockets, and it registers everything in her gnawed skull by the salt.
In between the rocks lies an abandoned doll dozens of years ago. Her eyelashes and the coulour of her cheecks had been faded a way through time and even her porcelain skin had been bitten by the animals. She observes, speachless, eyeless, registering it all in ther gnawed skull by the salt.
ReplyDeleteAn abandoned doll is between rocks in a dozen years. She hasn´t eyelashes and its checks lost its color and her porcelain’s skin was being bitten by the animals. She watches speechless with empty sockets of his eyes and everything is register in its eaten up skull which was being gnawed by the salt.
ReplyDeleteIsaac Sánchez
Hello again everyone,
ReplyDeleteLovely to see you all participating, such fun!
OK, so - Ricardo, that's a great opening sentence, except for the word "ago" at the end. In the second sentence, we agreed we'd use the possessive pronoun "her" instead of "its", and "the animals 'had bitten' her porcelain skin" is a better construction. Why is this, do you think? The third sentence needs more detailed work.
Denisse - great opening sentence. The second sentence is good too. Away is a single word. I like "registering it all" in the third sentence, it's a great expression... "her gnawed skull by the salt" isn't as easy for the reader.
Isaac, I think the verb "lies" works better than "is" in the first sentence, what do you think? "She hasn't any lashes" is OK, another option is "she doesn't have any lashes", and then - "her" cheeks? "have lost" is a better construction than just the past simple "lost". Why do you think this is?
And then - "his" eyes? "everything is registered", this is the passive voice, what is the form?
"everything is registered in her eaten up skull" is good - "which has been gnawed by the salt" is correct and "was being gnawed by the salt" is not - do you know why?
This is great, everyone - thanks for your hard work and see you this evening.
Best version! Group effort:
ReplyDeleteIn between the rocks lies a doll abandoned dozens of years ago. Her eyelashes and the colour on her cheeks have faded and the animals have bitten her porcelain skin. She stares, dumbly, with her eyeless sockets, registering it all in her salt-gnawed skull.
Writing skills group 3